friEnDship
by Dayn Martin
Summary: Eddy is older, he's taller, and close to graduating- he should be living it up, but there's something nagging at the back of his mind, something he feels compelled to act on before it's too late and Double D goes to college and never comes back.


_"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you."_  
>Elbert Hubbard<p>

Loud, energetic music filled the lower half of the house; pictures on the walls clicked and clanked, floorboards creaked and rattled. His head pounded, like someone was slamming a door on it, over and over, but he couldn't care less if he tried. Hunched over in the middle of it all with his elbows on his knees he sat; angrily stuffing his face with pizza and chasing bite after bite with a swig from a shiny, long-necked bottle.

"Oh, man," he moaned, gagging and making a face. "How do people drink this stuff?"

He looked around the empty living room, suddenly aware of how alone he really was. His parents would be home in two weeks time. He would suck it up, break out the broom and dust pan and have the place cleaned before then. And then he would smile and welcome them home, act like nothing had ever happened. The fist-shaped hole in the wall in his room would be hard to hide, but no one went in there, anyway.

"This is pathetic."

He pulled himself out of the Eddy-shaped indentation on the couch and immediately stumbled forward, slamming his shin into a table with a loud roar. "Who's bright idea was it to put a table there?" he wondered, making his way to the window. He caught sight of his reflection and frowned. He hadn't grown nearly as much as he'd hoped. More outwards than upwards, but at least he'd grown. He wasn't bad looking, he decided. Never had been. Could have play football, if he'd wanted to, but he hadn't wanted to. With a sigh, he pressed his forehead into the cool glass.

He sent a glance over at Edd's house. It was dark and quiet. He checked a clock hanging on the wall. It read 9:45PM. That nerd _would_ go to bed this early. Maybe it wasn't too late yet. He decided then and there that he'd had his fill of being lonely and bitter and depressed. Eddy found himself smirking. Double D. What a guy. What a guy... Not like that traitor, Ed.

When he was done spying on the rest of the neighborhood, he shut the stereo off and wandered out into the yard, headed for Edd's house. More than once he'd had to look up and squint into the darkness, wondering how far away the house could actually be. His vision was blurry, though, so no amount of squinting actually helped.

He decided to use the window, on the extremely unlikely off chance of Edd's parents being home. His plan was foolproof. In theory. In actuality, it was a lot harder than he'd first thought. The window itself came up to his midsection, and getting it open was a synch, but making his legs work with the rest of his body was proving to be a problem. Sometime during the struggle, a light snapped on, and someone shrieked.

Eddy jumped out of his skin and covered his ears, falling off the window sill and into the grass with a loud _'oof!'_

"Eddy?"

When he looked up, Edd was standing by the window, clutching his night shirt as though it were a robe. Wearing his hat. At night. Eddy would have rolled his eyes, had he been able. Probably the first thing he'd reach for, even if someone broke in.

"Double D," he said pitifully, holding his hand out. "Give me a hand, will ya?"

Edd did. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" He frowned slightly.

"Do you?" Eddy shot back. "Your parents home?"

"No." Edd replied, returning the annoyed tone. "Some party you were having over there." He paused, leaned in, and sniffed the air. "Good grief, Eddy, you reek! Are you _intoxicated?_"

"No. Yes." With help, he made it in through the window. "A little." He said pitifully, "Alcohol tastes terrible. Like battery acid."

"Then why on Earth were you drinking it?"

Rather than answer, Eddy shrugged off the helping hand. He looked over at the corner, where Jim, the cactus was. "That thing's still alive?" he said aloud. "We need to talk."

"At—" Edd glanced at his clock. "9:55 in the evening?"

"It's—" for some reason, the ground was moving. Shaking. Sort of like a sea of cockroaches. That was weird. "It's important. Look, I don't wanna fight anymore."

Edd said quietly, and somewhat harshly, "I was hardly fighting..."

"I'm sorry, ok?" Somehow, he managed to walk across the room, pull a wooden chair from a desk, and drop into it like a sack of potatoes. "Can I sit here?"

"Uh—"

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." Edd walked over to his bed and perched himself at the edge, looking bewildered. Eddy concentrated hard on the silence. It was nice, and he didn't immediately realize how long he'd let it go on until he heard a very uncertain: "Um..."

"I don't think Ed should marry her." The big lug was making the biggest mistake of his life. Why couldn't he see it? Didn't he remember all the running and hiding, all the lipstick and torture and kisses?

"May? Ah, yes...I've also been a bit concerned over it, but Ed is of legal age, Eddy, and some people actually do get married this young." He shrugged. "It happens more often than one would expect."

"It's not fair."

"Ed_ seems_ happy."

He shook his head. "It's not just that, it's everything. We're all grown up, and everyone's got a computer and no one plays outside anymore. Our parents are getting older and Ed is getting married! You'll be off at college soon, and where does that leave me? Here! Alone! I don't want things to change. There's nothing_ out there _for me, Double D."

Eddy glared at the floor, feeling his ears and face grow hot. He listened so hard he could hear the air move. And then he leaned over, put his hands on his knees, and puked. All over the floor. Edd was yelling something, and then ran out of the room. "Pizza...why did I have to eat pizza?" he gasped out between breaths. "It's so..._chunky_...Ugh, make it stop!" But Edd was gone. Eddy thought maybe he would board the door up and leave there, quarantine him or something. He was surprised when he came back, sopping up the mess with a dish rag like it was no big thing.

"Feel better?" Edd asked with a smirk.

He did. At least until the second wave hit him. "Why is this happening to me?" he cried out, voice muffled and throat burning. "I didn't even drink that much! I couldn't even finish the third one!"

"Well... I assume it was your first time," Edd began, "and you're obviously very worked up." He shrugged again, starting on the second mess. This time with a more disgusted look screwed up on his face. "It's understandable. I hope you've learned your lesson. Alcohol isn't meant to be a solution to your problems."

"It's freaking pathetic, is what it is." With a sigh, Eddy brought his hand up to his brow, shielding his eyes. "I'm nothing but a joke." He suddenly felt hands on his shoulders, pushing him to his feet.

"I thought we were done with that kind of talk." And then those very same hands touched his. He heard a soft gasp. "What did you do to your hand?"

He looked down at it, brows narrowing and then flying up. Hadn't even noticed. How hadn't he? It was all scraped and bleeding. Oh, yeah, the wall ."I'm just like him," he whispered, eyes large and watery.

"Your brother?" More gentle pushing, guiding. Out the door, down the hall.

"I try, and I try, and I just can't get away from it. He's like a bad stench I can't get rid of."

"Speaking of stenches..." Edd stopped him by the rest room and handed him a cap of mouth rinse. He washed the hand, patted it dry, and wrapped it in gauze. He wanted to drive to the ER, but no way was _that_ happening. "Come on." Edd could have said anything at that moment. Could have told him he was a low down, dirty rotten cheat; a loser, that he'd never amount to anything in his life, and he wouldn't have batted an eye, because it was so comforting to hear his voice, even if they had only been "fighting" for a week and a half.

"Where're we going?" Eddy asked. Next thing he knew, Edd was helping him get situated on the couch, the one that smelt of iodine and plastic. It felt nice and soft beneath him, though. Not like his, which was covered in pizza boxes and crusts.

"I can go sleep on my own couch," he offered, fidgeting under the blanket.

"You'll do no such thing. You'll sleep here tonight." He didn't argue, though he didn't think he'd sleep. Edd lovingly tucked him in with a blanket he'd gotten from the closet; something he was unaccustomed to. Truthfully, it was a little bit awkward.

"Double D?" He felt like a kid too scared to sleep without a nightlight. "I have to tell you something, before you go to college and I never get a chance to see you again."

"I'm not—"

"Can it, would you? I'm trying to say something here." Irked, but now quiet at least, Edd folded his arms across his chest, waiting. "So, here it is..., I think I like you."

An oblivious smile blossomed across his face. "I like you too, Eddy."

"_No_, you—never mind." He sighed and rolled over, closing his eyes. "Forget it."

"You're sure?" Edd asked, brows furrowed.

"Yeah. It's dumb, anyway."

"If... you say so," Edd said hesitantly. Damn him for being so respectful of personal space and junk like that.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" the words flew from his mouth before he even had time to think them.

"Excuse me?"

He rolled over and sat up, planting his feet on the ground. Tore the covers back. They were softer than anything he had at his house. How was that? "You heard me. You really are blind, aren't you? Jeez. Take a hint!"

"See here, Eddy," Double D began; brow furrowed, finger in the air. "I don't appreciate you _breaking in_to my home and—"

"—I like you, Sockhead!" he all but screamed. "You get it this time? '_Like_ you'? Or do I have to spell it out for you?"

"I don't quite think I—" Blank stare. Another awkward silence, and finally, "Oh! Um. Uh. Well, w-well, I'm flattered, but—"

"Forget it." He imagined himself getting up and walking purposefully to the door. And then he tried. He made it halfway, before his legs turned to jelly. "Like I said, it's dumb."

"You're in no condition to be wandering around this late," Edd told him, coming over to help.

"No. L'eggo." He batted the hand away.

"Please," he huffed. "You're acting like a child."

Why was it so hot? "I _feel_ like a child!"

Creeping toward him as though he were approaching a wild animal, Edd said, "If you'll just sit down, we can talk about this."

"How are you not freaking out? I just told you I might have_ feelings_ for you, real, actual feelings, and you act like it's totally fine. What gives?" This time, he allowed himself to be brought back to the couch and sat down. He wanted to run away and hide, slug his friend in the stomach and swear at him. Some friend. Didn't even flinch when he'd told him. "Hmph."

"Eddy, look. This isn't as big a deal as you're making it out to be. It's the alcohol talking."

"No it_ isn't_."

"You're sure?" Edd glanced at him warily.

"I'm positive." Eddy gave a frustrated grunt and nearly punched his knee with his bad hand. "...Look, it's not like I want to date you or anything."

"I'm glad," he replied with a little laugh, obviously relieved.

"Urgh. I should've just kept my mouth shut."

"I'm not judging you, Eddy. Honestly. It's just, well; this really wasn't what I was expecting."

Eddy sent him a sidelong glance, wondering what he the hell he was doing. He had managed these feelings for years. Why now? Why him?

It was weird how similar Edd looked to just a few years ago. It was like the guy didn't grow, or something. Sure, he got taller, but not much, and he was still as skinny as a rail. Still wore that stupid hat, too, but had swapped those purple shorts out for a pair of jeans. No matter how much time Eddy spent around him, they just didn't look right. Too baggy or something. He guessed if he had stick legs, jeans would look baggy on him, too.

"I like hanging out with you. You know, being _around_ you. Not in a creepy way. It's different than when we hang out with Ed." He lowered his eyes, thinking hard. "Feels different…Heavy. _Good_. I guess you could say...I kinda look up to you." He paused, and then swung his head over in Double D's direction. "...Pretty sick, huh?"

"Not at all. I think you're a good person." He smiled politely, folded his hands neatly in his lap. "And I value our friendship very much."

"Yeah, I figured you'd say something like that. But this has been going on for a couple years ago. Thirteen? Fourteen?" Ignoring the burning up and down his esophagus, he said, "I'll be eighteen in just a couple of months, Double D, what's _wrong _with me?"

"Wrong with you? Nothing!"

"Sure doesn't feel that way. What if I'm—_you-know_? Argh! Why me!"

"Eddy, lots of people go through this!" He said it as though it were the most natural thing in the world. "It's all part of growing up. Really. Look it up on the Internet sometime."

"I find that hard to believe," he said under his breath. "And I don't have a computer. You know that."

"I forgot," he admitted, shyly lowering his head. "But, I'm glad you trusted me enough to come to me."

"Why? S'not like it did any good." He threw his arms up at the ceiling. "I'm just as confused as when I was a kid. What am I saying?" and then covered his face with his hands. "Confused isn't even the word for it."

"Can I ask you a something?" Edd asked abruptly.

Eddy mumbled through his fingers. "Go ahead. It's not like I'm going through a crisis right now or anything."

"Do you see yourself ever, uh… in a relationship, with someone of the same sex?"

"What kind of—"

"Just _answer_, please," he said with an impatient sigh.

"No!"

"With a member of the opposite sex? A female?"

"Yes!"

"And you're not attracted to males? Not attracted...to, uhm...me?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

"Hmm."

"'Hmm'?" His head shot up. He was starting to feel better. His stomach, anyway. Everything was still sort of blurry, though, and his hearing seemed to be going in and out. Like turning the dial on a radio. "'Hmm,' what, Sockhead? You know what's wrong with me?"

"As I said before," he began, "there's nothing—" he made quotes with his fingers "—_'wrong' _with you. What you've just described is friendship, Eddy!"

"Are you sure?"

"Eddy, look at me. Why do you want so desperately for something to be the matter with you?" Edd smiled gently, that warm, gap-toothed smile that made him feel wonderful inside. "I can promise you that there's nothing wrong with you, and that you're just overreacting. Do you have any idea what's going on inside our bodies right now? Hormones, Eddy! Raging hormones. They get the best of all of us sooner or later. And if some day you _do_ realize you're, um—"

"—Don't say it— "

"—_you-know_, Ed and I won't think any less of you."

Eddy sighed. A measure of silence passed between them. "Look, just forget I said anything. Ok? Sorry I barged in here and threw up on your floor."

"Why are you shutting down?" Edd asked. He looked hurt. "We were having a moment."

"Double D," he warned, shooting him a dangerous look. "Drop it. It's over. I don't wanna talk about it anymore."

"Okay," he said quietly. "I can respect that. But I'm here for you, if you need me. I just want you to know that."

"And you better keep your mouth shut!" Edd jerked back with a yelp when he threatened him, brandishing a fist. The truth was he hit like a girl, but good old stick-legs couldn't take a punch, anyway, so the playing field was even. "If I find out you blabbed to anyone about this, I'll—"

"My word is my bond."

Eddy cocked his head and scowled. "What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means your secret is safe with me, Eddy."

"Good," he said, taking a few awkward steps back. "So… What now?"

"Well," Edd sighed gently, sitting down beside him. "I doubt I'll be falling back to sleep anytime soon. What's say we watch a movie?"

"No, genius," He sighed irritably, moving a hand across the space between them. "I mean the two of us. Are we ok? Things aren't gonna be weird now because of me and my big mouth, right?"

Edd grinned a sleepy grin. "Of course things between us are ok. We're friends."

"Good."

"And we'll still be friends, the three of us; you, me, and Ed— "

"That idiot. He's making a mistake!"

"— even when I go to college, and even after Ed and May get married...if they actually do get married."

Eddy grumbled something. The television came on, and both boys stared at it as things settled. "Yeah, well, I'm still steamed at the guy. And don't expect me to be nice to you from now on or anything," he mumbled. "And get me some something, would you? My head kills."

"Nice? To me? I wouldn't dream of it," Edd answered with a sly smirk, rising to do Eddy's bidding.

* * *

><p><em>Okay, so I want to take this moment to try and explain myself.<em>

_I'm a slasher. There, I said it. Never written it, though, and this is a close as I'll ever get, I reckon. At least for EEnE. Why? They're kids. Yeah, I made them teenagers here, but I felt like this was a real enough situation I could explore without being too over the top, mostly because this was something I went through when I was a teenager, minus the drinking and "happy ending." It came out a little more dramatic than my first draft, and Eddy might not be totally in character, but all in all I'm happy with it._

_Just to clarify: this fic **doesn't** mean I've made Eddy gay, nor does it mean I favor him **being** gay. That's totally up to you to decide for yourself. I wanted to explore non-physical attraction (strong friendship), and felt like Eddy would be the best character to do that through. I felt like it was a good way to explore the "what if?" theory without actually doing much of anything._


End file.
